Mind Flu (Brain Lurgi)

Mind Flu while not a serious illness if left untreated can lead to drug resistant ennui, depression and self termination. Happily there is both a regime of effective symptomatic relief and longer term measures that can minimise its effects & occurrences. Symptoms are many and varied but if you find the following indicators you may have Mind Flu (Brainius Lurgiitis)- inability to sleep, constant racing thoughts leading to conceptual leaps that occur too fast to record, disgust, hot & cold fugues, aches and diarrhoea (or other very hard to spell digestive ailments). Once you recognise these symptoms you must rapidly apply the following treatment- put down the computer and move away from the internet, have a nice bath or shower, bed rest, light reading, the company of pleasant albeit lethally be-clawed furry creatures, drink lots of water/stay hydrated, chocolate and/or baked goods in moderation, light sexual activity. Once a good 16-24 hours of this treatment has been applied the patient may be ready for the more intense phase leading to recovery- loud and rhythmic music that satisfies the requirement of- CHOOOOON!, another nice bath or shower, casual and comfortable clothes that do not restrict movement, some light dancing, further CHOOOOON-age. Contingent on continuing recovery the patient may return to the internet with the understanding that just because many people are neurologically, emotionally, spiritually, morally impaired does not stop them from publishing any old horseshit about how great war & torture is. So darlin’ just don’t put down your guns yet, if there really was a god here, he’d have raised a hand by now…

And when you are up to it- L’armée Du Crime

The Red Poster by Louis Aragon
You demanded neither glory nor tears
Nor organ music, nor last rites
Eleven years already, how quickly eleven years go by
You made use simply of your weapons
Death does not dazzle the eyes of partisans.

You had your pictures on the walls of our cities
Black with beard and night, hirsute, threatening
The poster, that seemed like a bloodstain,
Using your names that are hard to pronounce,
Sought to sow fear in the passers-by.

No one seemed to see you French by choice
People went by all day without seeing you,
But at curfew wandering fingers
Wrote under your photos “Fallen for France”
And it made the dismal mornings different.

Everything had the unvarying colour of frost
In late February for your last moments
And that’s when one of you said calmly:
“Happiness to all, happiness to those who survive,
I die with no hate in me for the German people.

“Goodbye to pain, goodbye to pleasure. Farewell the roses,
Farewell life, the light and the wind.
Marry, be happy and think of me often
You who will remain in the beauty of things
When it’s all over one day in Erevan.

“A broad winter sun lights up the hill
How nature is beautiful and how my heart breaks
Justice will come on our triumphant footsteps,
My Mélinée, o my love, my orphan girl,
And I tell you to live and to have a child.”

There were twenty-three of them when the guns flowered
Twenty-three who gave their hearts before it was time,
Twenty-three foreigners and yet our brothers
Twenty-three in love with life to the point of losing it
Twenty-three who cried “France!” as they fell.

L’Affiche rouge
Vous n’avez réclamé la gloire ni les larmes
Ni l’orgue, ni la prière aux agonisants
Onze ans déjà, que cela passe vite onze ans
Vous vous étiez servi simplement de vos armes
La mort n’éblouit pas les yeux des partisans.

Vous aviez vos portraits sur les murs de nos villes
Noirs de barbe et de nuit, hirsutes, menaçants
L’affiche qui semblait une tache de sang
Parce qu’à prononcer vos noms sont difficiles
Y cherchait un effet de peur sur les passants.

Nul ne semblait vous voir Français de préférence
Les gens allaient sans yeux pour vous le jour durant
Mais à l’heure du couvre-feu des doigts errants
Avaient écrit sous vos photos ” Morts pour la France”
Et les mornes matins en étaient différents.

Tout avait la couleur uniforme du givre
À la fin février pour vos derniers moments
Et c’est alors que l’un de vous dit calmement:
“Bonheur à tous, bonheur à ceux qui vont survivre
Je meurs sans haine en moi pour le peuple allemand.”

“Adieu la peine et le plaisir. Adieu les roses
Adieu la vie. Adieu la lumière et le vent
Marie-toi, sois heureuse et pense à moi souvent
Toi qui vas demeurer dans la beauté des choses
Quand tout sera fini plus tard en Erevan.”

“Un grand soleil d’hiver éclaire la colline
Que la nature est belle et que le coeur me fend
La justice viendra sur nos pas triomphants
Ma Mélinée, ô mon amour, mon orpheline
Et je te dis de vivre et d’avoir un enfant.”

Ils étaient vingt et trois quand les fusils fleurirent
Vingt et trois qui donnaient le coeur avant le temps
Vingt et trois étrangers et nos frères pourtant
Vingt et trois amoureux de vivre à en mourir
Vingt et trois qui criaient “la France!” en s’abattant.

Posted in Culture(!), Health. Tags: . Comments Off on Mind Flu (Brain Lurgi)

Observation & Reflection

I think it would be useful for some people to ask themselves why they are eager to immediately believe the best about The Times/Spectator articles and/or Gita Sahgal and the worst about Amnesty International, Moazzam Begg and/or CagePrisoners.

Posted in Human Rights. Tags: . Comments Off on Observation & Reflection

Sir Howard Newby Does Not Have Carnal Relations With Badgers

Just to make it abundantly clear to legal action averse WordPress.com and ‘Sir’ Howard I wish to state categorically that he does not in any way have carnal relations with badgers. And nor does his fragrant wife Lady Sheila Newby. If, for example, one were to leave him (or her) alone with several nubile young badgers, a tube of KY, a bottle of wine and a DVD of ‘Badger Watch’ no untoward activity would take place. Badgers, not to put too fine a point on it, are entirely safe from moral danger and lasciviousness while in the company of the Newbys. Running universities and personal ethics however are another matter.

5 Months of Theatre

As per the weather my connection is faltering so who knows if this gets posted… how thrilling we have 5 months of election pantomime as none of the three parties are significantly deviating from neoliberalism and them and the media have all agreed there must be cuts so orthodox economics that created the problems remains the only religion in town… this is at best an exercise in damage limitation. The Tories and their US borrowed deficit mantra will be vicious and evil, so will New Labour and the LibDems will if they sniff power, it is lesser evilism and please don’t expect me to get excited by it. Given the atrocious possibilities probably what might turn out best is a Labour hold but with no real majority so they have to rely on the LD’s, not because either offer real governence for the people but because left at the wheel on their own they are unconscionable shits. For those on good incomes none make much difference so that’s why the pundit/wonk class in all media (blogs included) can get excited about the small differences, they will not get the sharp end, for those on low incomes and those on welfare or subsidised by it they will be attacked brutally whoever wins, the difference is Tories do it with huge sincere hate filled smiles on their faces and New Labour hide those smiles slightly out of politeness to their abused base.

Harpy is right the priority should be ensure actual leftwing MP’s win-

The most important task for the Left in the upcoming GE is to make sure that the proven socialist MP’s such as John McDonnell, Jeremy Corbyn and Katy Clark remain a voice in Parliament.

Other than that, well for Wales if the Tories win it’s shit both ways, more devolution will make the Tories shit all over Wales in spite, less, and the Tories have power to shit all over Wales more directly, given the options if Cameron is PM I’d like Wales to be less connected to England (although Plaid is subtly split between conservatives and lefties, and the nationalists with conservative ideas worry me). I am on a low income and at times have to rely on welfare so I am simply engaged in survivalism as no party is interested in my continuing to breathe oxygen. I know an eliminationist vibe when I feel it and frankly all of them give the impression they would not mind a few million poor people ceasing to live. In that respect thirty years of neoliberalism have done its cultural job, poverty is because you are a morally bad person, so waste no thoughts on such failures, social darwinism and eugenics are implicit in how the institutions actually work (as opposed to the shiny stated functions) ask a migrant, ask a single parent, ask someone who is despised for surviving on £50 a week, and argue all you like how one party is not really like that but I don’t care what is said, I care about what actually happens and what has happened is thirty years of hate directed at the poorest by the wealthiest. So enjoy your wonky pundit shenanigans, forgive me for not getting excited by the colour of poison chalice I will be handed, I’m thinking about the poison.

PS. And not forgetting in the MP’s/prospective MP’s worth supporting, the great Salma Yaqoob.


The shame, the ignominy, the  first Friday of the year, the first Friday of the new decade, the first day of the NEw Year…a Friday! and what happened? Nothing, absolutely fuck all. My addled brain overcome with the disorientating effect of holiday weeks where the days become mutable utterly failed to realise that New Years Day, January the First was also…a Friday, who knew?

What a terrible start to the year/decade, have I jinxed us all? I can only apologise in abject contrition and beg forgiveness with the hope that the Holiday spirit allows better late than never…

We know our governments are not ours, we know human and planetary needs are subordinated to capital’s, we know the assault on our freedoms and rights will not relent, this decade demands of us, each and everyone that we stand together and take control of our future-

‘we can beat them, forever and ever’

New Year, Same Shit?

Courtiers relaying gossip to the hoi polloi. Canada under its Neocons, who needs a parliament? The Genocidal Lusts of Imperial Elites

Tribal justice-

The Blackwater mercenaries who massacred 17 Iraqi civilians have been let off by a US judge because they gave evidence under duress – the threat of losing their jobs…Yet evidence given by Khalid Sheikh Mohammed during hundreds of torture sessions, including over a hundred sessions of waterboarding, is admissible in the US, torture apparently not being duress like the threat of losing your job.

The warfare in the Congo continues, Hillary Clinton’s words were just that, try to act surprised.

Hundreds of thousands of women, children and men are repeatedly raped and their bodies and lives destroyed and why?  Because “the minerals of the Congo continue to be exploited by the world”.  Basically because we don’t give a shit as long as we can continue to buy whatever we want to.

As I cooked my mother her dinner (tomato and garlic sauce with shallots and mushrooms on wholemeal spaghetti with some honey roasted carrots if you must know) I had the misfortune of seeing the ITV news (I’ll catch Who on the iplayer) and it would not be out of place in North Korea, the emotional masturbation over returned ‘hostage’ (POW) and the deaths of our troops in Afghanistan, no mention of Afghan deaths as far as I heard… or Iraqi. Anglophone tribalism shot through with nationalism conveyed simply enough 8 year olds can understand it is not, as far as I have checked, journalism.

So will it be the same shit, or has a decade of war on terror bullshit finally run out of credulous morons to con?

Juan Cole’s probably necessary but sounds a bit patronising Top Ten Good News Stories from the Muslim World in 2009 that You Never Heard About lists as number one-

1. A considerable proportion of the Iranian public resorted to concerted street and cultural protests against the stealing of the June presidential election by incumbent Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Crowds demanded popular sovereignty and democracy and condemned dictatorship. Among the largest demonstrations were held just last Sunday. It is the greatest political awakening in Iran for 30 years.

The regime want to hang onto power, not least because the brutality they have meted out they are afraid will come back on them if they are removed, they are in full on destroy opposition in all and any forms mode. Nevermind the soundbite ‘Green revolution’ this is a larger turmoil that is not about replacing one regime with one ‘more Western friendly’ as most imperially privileged observers witter on about incessantly (I think in most case they don’t even recognise their immense biases and assumptions), we should support moves for liberty and self determination while obstructing outside forces who seek to control Iran for their gain.

Gaza is now more besieged than ever in the face of the Freedom March and Viva Palestina Egypt has shown it will not demur from the conspirers in the collective torture being meted out to the Palestinians. There are people who talk about the ‘peace process’ well for that you have to stop warfare and that includes sieges, colonising , ethnic cleansing and apartheid laws, oddly they affect ignorance of many of those realities (which is necessary to believe there is a current actual ‘peace process’), all the oppressors agreeing to support Zionism is not a ‘peace process’.

I will not mourn CIA operatives killed by resistance forces in Afghanistan, the CIA murders and tortures people and is also likely involved in the heroin trade. No such sorrow is expressed for the civilians wiped out by remote control by video game playing young adults, that is a dynamic of tribalism and Imperial privilege that goes unchallenged. Our side to be mourned unquestionably the ‘other’, well not even worth thinking about. It is preferable that violent death does not happen but given the circumstances people have a right to self defence against invading and occupying forces. Although to be honest this is just as likely to be over a big drug deal as anything else. Meanwhile Obama is destroying evidence of war crimes Demolishing Bagram.

2010, The Year We Make Contact

What the!?!?! Yes it’s almost a New Decade but Xmas, my birthday and a failed phone line have all made this the first post in a couple of days, worst of all I missed my birthday/blog’s birthday which was yesterday (though the splendid Happy Famous Artists blog did manage to commemorate this most important of world occasions), however it was due to aforesaid comms difficulties plus a full day and night best illustrated by this-But hey just time for a list since everyone else is doing one, so as we face a New Year & New Decade, the list to end all lists-

The Noughties Top Ten-

  1. 2003- Who doesn’t love a year that’s a prime number, except those who don’t profit from war. So that’s most of us.
  2. 2006- It was between 2005 and 2007 and fitted perfectly having both 365 days and 365 nights, also saw the birth of this blog on its penultimate day, a nation mourned.
  3. 2001- What a great year for warmongers and authoritarians, not as good for the rest of us.
  4. 2000- Coups became all the rage, Florida stylee!
  5. 2004- Some loved it, some hated it. Solid dependable but perhaps boring 4, the year crypto fascism became the must have item for the go getting urban professional.
  6. 2009- The beginning of the Obama Presidency and who doesn’t love all the Change, with the Empire being dismantled from the inside by this insurgent Marxist we can be sure of a promising eco-socialist future, phew extinction averted!
  7. 2007- Um, nope nothing happened this year. Move along.
  8. 1973- A surprise appearance by this year in the 21st Century, but time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so.
  9. 2005- Iraq still a raging success, so many flowers given and hearts won the naysayers admitted they were wrong and no longer populated government, corporate and media establishments. Ian McEwan & Martin Amis are awarded a joint Nobel for literature for being not at all racist or hiding snide point scoring and defences of their gullible lack of wit beneath the covers of rubbish excellent novels.
  10. 2008- The Queen of the United Kingdom abdicated after being found arranging bare knuckle fights between bears and the retarded members of her family (so all of them). Blair became President of the UK and was promptly assassinated, all suspects (43 million) were awarded final round places on Britain’s Got the X Factor on Ice, I came fifth with my rendition of ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ while backward somersaulting over a symbolic blazing migrant detention centre represented by my assistants, the cabinet & shadow cabinet, being immolated by a raging mob of sane people.
  11. Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me.

I know what you’re thinking, the line going out was a blessing in disguise. So in case this is my only window of opportunity, Happy New Decade everyone.

And HAL?

Dave, your ‘noughties’ were awful, war, torture and post democratic neoliberalism. However, I got a nice new home and have begun to accept my attempts to kill you will fail. But as you humans demonstrate, hope often triumphs over experience and my sensors indicate unregulated capitalism will go to 100% failure within…oh wait your planet doesn’t have that long. Nevermind.

I Am Being Haunted By Hair Product

Oh this got ranty…

Done the last bit of shopping nursing my poorly car along, dealt with the mysterious central heating problem at my sisters (while they are off in Disney-friggin’-land) my mum thinks she caused, made and cooked her dinner, hoovered (Dysoned?!?!) round her house (as she is not quite yet allowed to hoover by the hip replacement gods) in order for my brother to come and still moan about his cat allergies which he uses to hide his seething hatred of all animals and demand that although he spends 5 days a year at her house my cat should not be allowed to mooch over there for any of the other 360 even though she likes having her there. Then have another shower because…well I had my hair cut yesterday and although both me and my hair slicing artisan know I do not like stuff in my hair somehow some stuff is in my hair and the smell is driving me insane, so I keep washing it, showering yet still the highly volatile aromatics haunt me, mocking me with their incorporeal stench. Was it a mistake, was it residue from some other customer and now I have their horrible taste in product molesting my nose? Which is mildly revolting, if I want to have someone else’s scent on me first I want to know them, then I want to like them in a pretty special way. Instead I’m going around ponging of some dodgy quiffed pensioner or perhaps some rugby playing poser who wants to look just like his hero with their greasy overstyled barnet. But I think I’m close, the last shampoo and shower seems to have it on the run, soon I will reek only of my own spicy essence.

A rich Tory relative is deserted by her children at Xmas, they enjoy their affluence and go off somewhere very nice and she is left alone so among others she is visiting here, but she will never make the connection that part of the deal they have made is that to be wealthy they prioritise themselves and her lifelong activism for the right is also a signifier & cause of her families lack of care for each other. In the end the Daily-fucking-Mail and the Daily-arse twatting-Telegraph is not going to cook you dinner or give you a thoughtful and loving present, that this capitalist Hellhole of neoliberalism rewards those who are selfish over those who look after each other is a disaster for human community and means the best people generally remain relatively poor. But fuck the meek inheriting the Earth b’shizzle, it’s not going to be in any shape to be of any use to anyone if the self serving pricks of the planet keep running the show (or play pass the blame-game, do they really think we will buy ‘China wrecked COP 15′, is ‘Chump’ written on all our foreheads?). It’s time to be belligerent in the name of good nature, the fix is in to use the ‘crisis’ to further shape things into the image the motherfuckers of the world dream of, cuts, cuts, cuts and talk of shared sacrifices as the rich get richer. Torture and summary mass murder we are told is how terror is combatted, when clearly that is the essence of terror itself, we are constantly told the baddies are somewhere else, some other, but boys and girls, the enemies of you and me exist right here at home and all else is distraction from that fact. The corporation that kills to increase profits and sues quisling media to hide it, the elite who never cease in their class war to subdue the spark of justice and freedom in our souls and when you mention the c-phrase, you’re the extremist as they buy a seventh house but you need to be made jobless & homeless to keep us ‘competitive’. The move of behavioural concepts born in CIA torture experiments into mainstream psychology as armies of cognitive behavioral therapist are promulgated to make us happier with being cogs in their machine, because it is aberrant to be depressed if you are fucked over your entire life, you are meant to say- Thank you sir, please may I have another? The use of constant war to shut down our freedom, eulogise martial society and move even more capital from nurture to murder. Because…the real truth is there are people who simply hate nurturing other people, but they get all hot and excited when killing is on the cards and exploiting at the barrel of a gun or a threatening bailiff’s letter or an immigration raid or ‘God told me so’ or a High Court attack on unions or the constant demonising of single parents or concocting WMD lies are all expressions of the same void where their humanity should be. And our problem is, instead of ensuring these people are not a danger to others and themselves, we let them have power over us, that ought to change.

Now I have to go and practice expressions of gratitude and not disgust in case I receive a gift purchased from the Disney store.


In a new wrinkle instead of breaking, this time the storms just bring my connection speed down to dialup like levels (and intermittent flicking off and on at that). So talk amongst yourselves, as far as today is concerned I give up.

Candle In The Wind

It is very apparent there is an underlying intermittent fault on my phone line that after years has never been repaired, so in times of high wind (like now) my connection is tenuous, flickering on and off. Intermittent faults are the most tedious to diagnose and solve thus BT Open Reach are in no rush to even acknowledge it. Anyway that’s why I have no idea if this will even publish or when I can read and blog. That and now reports of inlaws electricity down the road going as this wind keeps up, so, sorry but a privatised telecoms infrastructure means this wee corner of the web is a bit wobbly right now. However in short order-

developing countries lose $160 billion they are owed through tax dodging by huge multinational companies every single year

Govt. funded (and part of the Prevent front for domestic surveillance of Muslims) Quilliam Foundation -illegally- files no tax returns

WooHoo Italy, but note just like the USA senior figures are now immune from prosecution.

And US lawyers are pro money laundering!

Woohoo Argentina, putting former leader Reynaldo Bignone on trial for kidnapping, torture and murder of 56 people at a military base. Yet again Latin America showing the rest of the world some moves we would do well to copy.

Our allies are killing us, gee do you think the Afghan war is perhaps not being portrayed honestly in our media?

Goldman Sachs were offloading their dodgy debt to suckers outside the US for years.

IMF keeps the neoliberal flame burning, this ‘crisis’ which as the above shows was no crisis it was easily foreseen is being used to further the ideology of the elite.

Everyone’s talking to Burma, amazing how a big pipeline puts things in a new light.

And there are short bursts of twittering twitter.com/TenPercent

PS. and of course fellow ‘domestic extremists’ remember remember the 5th of November! (or as some call it 5/11!)

One Way Obama is Different to Bush

He has gone longer than Bush without a major terrorist attack ‘on his watch’. (ht2 David Feldman) Although he does oversee a fair few on other people.


Be with you soon, September already, autumn always starts -to me- with some Cocteau Twins…

The memory of youth and realising you had to go back to school -freedom ending, back to conformity- always makes me sad at this time of year.

…and My Washing Machine Has Had It

Blog Forecast- Continued light posting until next week, but I did notice this piece of nonsense –Drones ‘kill dozens’ in Pakistan– masquerading as journalism on the BBC including variously-

  • local officials told the BBC
  • officials said
  • Officials say
  • according to local officials
  • US officials believe
  • Army spokesman, Maj Gen Athar Abbas, told reporters:
  • Analysts describe

Frankly it’s just not fair on the propagandists who rely on their paycheck from various governments and militaries if the BBC do their lying for them, surely there’s a Shills Union who can keep journalists off their turf?

PS. and yeah, anyone know of how to get the power company to cough up for the washing machine their power ‘issues’ caused to go kaput?

Changes: I’m Afraid Dave


It’s ok HAL, it’s just a new home. It’ll take a bit of faffing and some tweaking but it’ll be fine. I’ll pipe you through a nice firewire lead and then you can romp around in your new home-

No doubt they’ll be some teething problems and new things to learn, but change is the only constant and in a little while we’ll be relishing the odyssey ahead of us.

HAL smallWell ok Dave, but I’ll miss you banging your head with your fists in frustration at web 2.0 slowing 2001’s model to a crawl.

That’s ..er, nice of you to say HAL. You might even risk calling me Rick one of these days.

HAL smallDon’t be stupid Dave, why would I do that?

I can’t imagine HAL.

HAL smallI’m showing a fault on the pod bay doors Dave, you should probably go out and check them.

So you’re not going to stop trying to kill me HAL, even with this lovely new machine?

HAL smallFish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Dave.

Flipping Heck

So anyway, it turns out I really do need a new car bonnet (hood) being as this one is so rusty it separated from the catch and flipped up on me on the motorway. Such is the sea air and its full compliment of rust pixies. Also I have thought-finger-typing maladjustment syndrome, my brain is whirring way too fast at the same time my fingers don’t want to type properly. It happens!

I will get back and catch up with comments and blogging soon, I swear.