The Human Centipede Model For Leadership In A Hung Parliament

Human Centipede is a schlock horror movie whereby a mad doctor who specialises in separating conjoined twins creates a… The clue’s in the title, he surgically attaches three hapless victims together, anus to mouth, to form an organism with one digestive tract, biologically implausible as that may be. Nevertheless such high concept body horror meets torture porn hijinks is doing its job causing sensation and gasps of horror which should translate into a healthy profit for the producers. It’s not called Showart, it’s Showbusiness people! Here below is the mad doctor with a helpful diagram for victims and viewers on his overhead projector (this immediately sets off alarm bells as to his competence, it’s 2010, Keynote, Powerpoint? Hello?)-

I say Cameron for the -worst- middle position, after all he already has that shit-eating grin…Clegg for front and Brown bringing up the rear, with Miliband following with the bucket & spade and a Look, you’ve punished us enough about Iraq, all right? So don’t start punishing yourself.’ T-shirt.

The question then arises for the consensus state, could this creature be mated with a suitable female host to produce a new super race of neoliberal politician? Or are plans already afoot?

An antidote to such horror.

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Great Moments In Online Polling

An Online YouGov oracle survey today:-

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John McDonnell’s Letter To The Guardian Re: RMT Ballot

The media treatment of RMT and Bob Crow over the last 48 hours over the Network Rail strike ballot has been the worst example of a concerted campaign of media bias against a trade union that we have seen since the 1980s miners’ strike. John Humphrys’s interview of Bob Crow, with his references to ballot-rigging, and the BBC’s subsequent headline of “RMT’s Bob Crow denies ballot rigging”, was that disgusting classic of the old hack lawyer’s tactic of asking the defendant: “When did you stop beating your wife?”

Even the Guardian’s editorial (2 March) ignorantly weighed in with “No union that conducts its ballots properly according to the reasonable requirements of the law … would be in danger of being injuncted.” This reference to “reasonable requirements of the law” is patent rubbish. To hold a ballot the union must construct and supply the employer with a detailed and complex matrix of information setting out which members it is balloting, their job titles, grades, departments and work locations. The employer is under no obligation to co-operate with the union to ensure this is accurate. If there is the slightest inaccuracy, even where it did not affect the result, the ballot is open to being challenged by the employer and quashed by the courts.

There can be no question of the union ballot-rigging or interfering in the balloting process because it is undertaken by an independent scrutineer, usually the Electoral Reform Society, and all ballot papers are sent by post to the homes of the members being balloted, and returned to the ERS for counting. The union at no time handles the ballot papers.

On at least four occasions in the last three years I have tried in parliament on behalf of RMT and other TUC-affiliated unions to amend employment law to require employers to co-operate with unions in the balloting process so these problems can be overcome. Employers’ organisations, the Conservatives and the government have all opposed this reform.

The result is not fewer strikes but a deteriorating industrial relations climate as people become increasingly angry that their democratic wishes are frustrated by one-sided anti-trade-union laws.

John McDonnell MP

Also see SU

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Total Terror

It is impressive that the media is so cynical and hysteria so unremarkable that they can spin this as actually still terrifyingly dangerous with a straight face-

Al-Qaida seen eyeing less complex attacks on US
Now it appears that the group, which has prided itself on its ideological purism, seems to be eyeing a more pragmatic and perhaps more dangerous shift in tactics. The emerging message appears to be that big successes are great, but sometimes simply trying can be just as good.

Exclusive- Al Qaeda calling you late at night and shouting Boo down the phone! Next Week- Totally None Existent Threat May Never Happen! What is our government doing to protect us from this!

BBC Find New Role As Serco & The UKBA’s PR Pimp

A tour of Yarl’s Wood-

I was given a guided tour by Dawn Elaine, the Serco manager, who runs the centre.

I saw no obvious signs of distress amongst residents. But then there were a lot of closed doors.

Positive steps have been taken since Serco took over, including a new school. It’s a lovely airy chalet-style building away from the main block.

The report mentions the recent abuse but not the ongoing hunger strike and does not talk to or report testimony from any of the victims of the abuse instead the reporter vaguely probes the manager who denies it and it is left there. If I was in the media relations department of either Serco or UKBA I would be livid, the BBC have just stolen my job, why employ people to bullshit for Yarl’s Wood when the BBC volunteers to do it? The detention centres and the UKBA have already been found to be racist and institutionally incapable of performing a humane function (precisely because they are not meant to by the tabloid appeasing race baiting New Labour govt.) and deliberately operating a complaints system designed to stifle complaints. And this is known, reports have been published but nothing changes except…the migrant gulag steps up its PR war. Hutton really did make the BBC obedient. And this I love-

I asked her if she would come down heavy-handedly on anyone who did cross that line? “Absolutely,” she said. “It would not be tolerated. They would not stay as part of the team.”

*I asked her if she was thoroughly wonderful and she admitted that yes, she was.* Hard hitting investigative journalism eh?

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Out Of Sight

Current Google trends snapshot-

While Al Maliki is being spun as a cautious winner by the US & UK mainstream, the secular nationalist bloc Al-Iraqiya is showing some legs, although lots of claims of corruption, bans, terrorism and an occupation don’t help (not to mention ongoing birth defects caused by the invaders). But as the above image shows, the people of the nation who drove us into this war and occupation remain relatively uninterested in the world around them, imperialism might fleetingly be glimpsed in relation to a marketing event dressed as film awards ceremony (of which many seem unsure of the date & time it takes place) and that’s about it.

PS. Oops I tell a lie, Iraq Election is  No. 2 in US topics, though not searches, Oscars of course is number 1.

David Cameron Knowingly Employs A Cowardly Bully- Andy Coulson

Update: A real bullying charity -Bullying UK- has reported NBH to the charity commission. NBH has breached  confidentiality which puts people at risk in order to help a Conservative party political campaign, Prof Cary Cooper a director has resigned over this.

Gordon Brown does appear to be a bully (and a wildly in denial neoliberal chump), but as Adam Bienkov has shown the National Bullying Helpline is a dodgy outfit and here in a repost from three months ago, Cameron knowingly employs a bully, Andy Coulson, as his head of communications/spin doctor. Where was the ‘non political’ NBH then? Both bullies should be called out, Coulson can easily be fired, Brown is slightly more tricky due to him being PM and we can’t even get one of those for war crimes, but there should be sanctions (or better yet he stands down and we have an election, John McDonnell for leader!) and the message bullying is not tolerated, so far both parties are giving the opposite message. Here is that older post:-

A News of the World reporter who suffered from a culture of bullying led by former editor Andy Coulson, who is now David Cameron’s head of communications, has been awarded almost £800,000 for unfair dismissal and disability discrimination.

Matt Driscoll, a sports reporter sacked in April 2007 while on long-term sick leave for stress-related depression, was awarded £792,736 by the east London employment tribunal. It is believed to be the highest payout of its kind in the media, and legal costs could take News International’s total bill well over the £1m mark.

The award will cause fresh embarrassment for Coulson, who resigned in January 2007 from the newspaper after the former royal editor, Clive Goodman, was jailed for hacking into the phone messages of aides to the royal family.

Earlier this year, Coulson faced renewed pressure, after the Guardian revealed that the News of the World’s owner, News International, had paid out £1m to settle claims from Gordon Taylor, the chief executive of the Professional Footballers’ Association, and other victims of phone hacking.

Driscoll, who has not been in a full-time job since his dismissal, said the award reflected the severity of the case. (ht2 Anton Vowl)

So the Tories have a problem, their top spin doctor is shown in court to be a bully, not just an also ran but the ring leader, how can any schools operate an anti bullying strategy under a Conservative government that employs a proven bully in a senior position? What message does it send, for all the fine words Cameron and chums might speak over bullying, until he fires Coulson his actions clearly say- bullying is ok with me and I reward, at the highest level and value, bullies in my team, bullying will get you where you want to go. Not to mention bugging.

Just how many ‘second chances’ will Cameron give, and anyway a second chance is what you give someone who shows genuine remorse and contrition, none so far has been forthcoming from Coulson. Now this is all pretty well much unsurprising, people are not shocked Conservatives are bigots, crooks and bullies. Yet it is unfair and wrong to hold that as a prejudice, so here’s a chance for Cameron to show they are not unremittingly awful human beings by firing Coulson, however I would advise him to ensure Coulson has proper medical help. We can’t know why Coulson has this problem, maybe his mother abused him or his father hated him, maybe he is a sociopath, superficially charming yet unable to feel empathy or a wide range of normal human emotions. Maybe a physical malformation of parts of his brain are its cause. While he is in positions of power his personal failings are a source of concern and great potential harm to those affected by his actions, when properly kept in a situation where he cannot harm himself and others he should have our sympathy. Perhaps this will lead to Cameron committing to tax the vast unearned wealth of his supporters to fund proper mental health provision under the NHS, so that Andy might no longer cowardly victimise others, avoiding responsibility for his actions while his underlying personal and mental problems go unaddressed. For those having to work with Coulson, solidarity is the key tactic for deterring bullying, forming strong supportive co-operatives or unions will defeat the bully.

Who said satire was dead?

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