Stereotyped Conspiracy Myths & Their Uses

Many are attracted to the relaxing & fashionable casual attire while playing with a large horn.

After my comment I thought it best to expand based on a personal story-

It began innocently enough, a small slice of emmental in the corner of the fridge, who could object to some tasty fermented dairy product (well ok vegans but nevermind). Then an old cuckoo clock from an elderly relative found its way onto my wall, fair enough we all need to tell the time. For practical matters a multi-bladed penknife multi-tool is ideal so no objections were raised when the handy pocket implement made an appearance. Then needing to launder some proceeds from drug smuggling, child pornography and arms sales, a secret and private bank account was called for, a solution presented itself. Soon the profits and my tax avoidance allowed for overpriced skiing holidays and yodelling lessons, it all seemed so innocent. I even found myself particularly enjoying the finale of the Sound of Music. But then an offhanded cryptic comment from an acquaintance as he made to leave for his Nazi gold appreciation society- Had I ever thought of the of joining the Swiss Caliphate? What did he mean? Puzzled, that night I lay awake tossing and turning (stop that), then with a dawning realisation the horror crept throuhg my whole body. I dropped the executive model penknife with scissors I was idly trimming my fingernails with, rushed to the fridge and yes, there was the sliver of emmental balefully glaring back at me, but by now it was joined by half a kilo of gruyère, some raclette and a slab of appenzeller. Tripping over my skis I yodelled in surprise as my head hit the floor only regaining consciousness with the mechanical cuckoo-ing of the clock, checking the time by my Swatch, yes, it was accurate. Yet the nightmare I had awakened to continued, I ran to the computer, searched for help and eureka, a solution was at hand, like garlic and stakes to a vampire the menace of the Swiss could be counteracted with minarets. I telephoned my local Islamic architect and set the plans in motion and before long a low minaret of a Tatar aspect filled most of my flat, I was safe. So dear reader I urge you to be vigilant, the Swiss will not rest until they control the planet, keep a minaret at hand at all times and foreswear the over hyped cheese, over priced watches and crime enabling banking.

I can only hope our government informs the populace of this menace and a referendum is held to allow such important factual matters to be addressed. It is the only sane and informed thing to do and not at all pandering to reactionary fantasies constructed to facilitate further bigoted oppression…or anything.

Movies

Director and star fired from his own movie by producer who revels in commerce’s superiority over creativity-

“That’s why they call it show business and not show art.”

Morons Lying to Children

• The Christian right is making a fresh push to force religion onto the school curriculum in Texas with the state’s education board about to consider recommendations that children be taught that there would be no United States if it had not been for God…One of the panel, David Barton, founder of a Christian heritage group called WallBuilders, argues that the curriculum should reflect the fact that the US Constitution was written with God in mind including that “there is a fixed moral law derived from God and nature”, that “there is a creator” and “government exists primarily to protect God-given rights to every individual”.
• The Nakba is leaving the education system: Education Minister Gidon Saar decided yesterday to cancel the subject of the Nakba in the Arab sector. The Nakba is the description used by the Palestinians for Israel’s victory in the War of Independence, and literally means “catastrophe. The topic was studied until today as part of the geography subject, after a decision made on the matter during the period of Limor Livnat, and was officially introduced into textbooks during the term of the previous education minister, Yuli Tamir. “There is no reason for the official curriculum of the State of Israel to present the state’s establishment as a Holocaust or catastrophe,” Saar said yesterday.

Common denominator? Ethnic cleansing and/or genocide excused because…God Made Me Do It! Translation- I avoid personal responsibility at the same time as claiming ultimate unquestionable supernatural authority for my actions. It’s the last undiagnosed mass mental disorder left on Earth. It also makes you doubt evolutionary theory, not as a whole, just as applied to Homo sapiens, clearly de-evolving at a rate of knots.

Kapital Kills

Health insurers around the world collectively hold $4.5 billion worth of tobacco industry stock, according to a new study. The Consumerist has great highlights on the story, including this killer quote from the study’s co-author, David Himmelstein, “[It’s] the combined taxidermist and veterinarian approach: either way you get your dog back.” 

Welsh Fucking Water! (Well United Utilities)

And now… some light ranty relief:-

Here in sunny, ok rainy at present North Wales you get used to the fact that Welsh Water, the privatised water providing monopoly is incapable of providing clean fucking drinking water on a reliable basis! And here we go again-

About 70,000 households and businesses in two north Wales counties are being advised to boil their drinking water after bacteria were found in supplies. Customers in areas of Flintshire and Denbighshire supplied by the Alwen treatment works are affected.

Now this doesn’t affect me…yet, but for all those tired of this bullshit year in year out I ask- Is drinking water somehow beyond our scientific abilities? I’m sure I’ve heard of other places where amazingly you can drink the water and not get ill, ooh it must be like some futuristic dreamscape! Has the concept of potable water become an impossible riddle to even the greatest of minds?

No, it is just an impossibility to the neoliberal mind. Now enjoy the hilarious farce that is Welsh Water’s post privatisation history (thanks Conservatives!)-

Welsh Water Authority was privatised by stock market flotation in 1989, along with the other nine regional water authorities, which provided the company with a substantial cash surplus for some years, which it used to diversify in a wide range of sectors including leisure (Hotels, Fishing etc.).

Yeah that’s what I want from a water provider, a good range of hotels and a keen interest in angling. Oh no, what I meant was the other thing, what I like in a water provider is clean fucking drinking water! (I may have already mentioned that -clean fucking drinking water- but y’know repetition might make it sink in, in between the suits looking at new car brochures and second home buying).

It renamed itself Hyder in 1996 after taking over a local electricity company (SWALEC) and becoming a water and electricity multi-utility.

What could possibly go wrong, water and electricity mix so well!

However, in 1999/2000, following the windfall tax on utility profits and the 1999 Ofwat price review, Hyder got into financial difficulties which led to its breakup following a takeover battle.

Who could of foreseen their huge profits might get taxed and their business practices were so criminal Ofwat would force a change? They’re not mind readers…Oh these things took some years to happen and there were months of warning, erm…maybe they were otherwise engaged on what colour the hotels should be painted or which celebrity to advertise their fishing business, was Noel Edmonds busy, did Roger Daltrey turn them down?

Western Power Distribution purchased Hyder on 15 September 2000 with a view to acquiring its electricity distribution business, and rapidly sold off Hyder’s other assets. Welsh Water was sold by WPD to Glas Cymru for £1,

A pound? That explains it, they found a babbling tramp in a Cardiff street and swapped the company for a half can of special brew. Wait they didn’t? So what can explain it? Neoliberal MBA managerialism that couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery? Financiers who make money with every transaction regardless of the consequences to those who actually use the service? Like that could ever go wrong, CDO’s all round!

along with £1.85 billion of Hyder debt. Under the terms of its licence Glas Cymru may not operate in sectors other than water.

Imagine, a water providing monopoly actually dedicated to providing water and not using its monopoly (which makes it an industry manifestly unsuitable for privatisation even free market theoreticians could figure that out… or not apparently). But as it’s a monopoly, how about we own it (y’know, like we did), so it runs at cost and no one exploits the need for the most essential substance for life on planet Earth- water.

Dŵr Cymru / Welsh Water (Dŵr Cymru means Welsh Water in Welsh) is owned by Glas Cymru, a company limited by guarantee. Most of Welsh Water’s activities are outsourced to other companies.

So really Welsh Water is a contracting body which passes on the work and …the responsibility?

KWS Wales operate waste water in the south and United Utilities operate clean water for the whole of Wales and waste water in the north.

Hey here’s an idea, keep the two separate! There you can have that for free, you see maybe your consultants haven’t told you this but sewage and drinking water…not the same thing, m’kay? But what was that again?

clean water for the whole of Wales.

Whoa there- United Utilities operate clean water for the whole of Wales– they do? Can we have some of this clean water? Where can you get it? Because it certainly doesn’t come out of the fucking taps!

Janet Street Porter- Still Rubbish Shocker

Short version- when you’re killed by the police be a fine upstanding person so I can properly feel sorry for you, ooh the police have a hard job.

See Pulse for more on her idiotic column on Ian Tomlinson. To me it’s a pretty common thing from people with well paid columns, when you’re of a certain position and income and for long enough you work to see the side of the agents of state violence that protects your position. But what do you expect from someone who produced Network 7? All surface, no feeling.

Naked Realpolitik

(Reuters) – The United States will review “the pace of development” of its missile defense shield in Europe if Russia agrees to help stop Iran from building a nuclear bomb, a senior U.S. official said on Friday. The official was speaking as U.S. Undersecretary of State William Burns was in Moscow to push ahead with Washington’s vow to hit the “reset button” on U.S.-Russian relations and halt a drift in relations. “If we are able to work together to dissuade Iran from pursuing a nuclear weapons capability, we would be able to moderate the pace of development of missile defenses in Europe,” a senior U.S. administration official told Reuters on condition of anonymity.

War On Drugs Continues To Wreck Lives And Leave People In Pain

An OAP milkman supplied cannabis to pensioners to ward off their aches and pains, a court heard today. Robert Holding, 72, delivered the drug – which he kept in an egg box – while doing his daily milk round.

Burnley Crown Court heard that he had 17 customers and built up his trade through “word of mouth”. Judge Beverley Lunt said Holding said in his police statement that the cannabis “was for elderly people who had aches and pains”.

Who or what does this prosecution and jailing serve? Not only did he harm no one, his persecution leaves others in pain, all the well paid professionals involved in this from police, to prosecutors, to Judge should be ashamed of their idiot behaviour. Not as egregious as this atrocity, but product of the same institutions that keep their drones well rewarded long after they have lost sight of the original reasons for their existence. In fact that is positively encouraged.

Philip Holden, for the defence, said Holding’s customers “were of a certain age” and he built up his clientele through “word of mouth”. Mr Holden said it was a “somewhat bizarre case”.

Holding, of Fair View Road, Burnley, Lancashire, pleaded guilty to supplying cannabis resin, a Class C drug, between April 1 and July 18 this year. He also admitted possessing cannabis resin on July 17.

The case was adjourned for a pre-sentence report. Holding was released on bail and will be sentenced at Burnley Crown Court on February 6. Judge Lunt warned him: “You must understand these are serious offences and in my judgment the likely outcome is an immediate custodial sentence.”

Oh yes, keep the streets safe from pensioner dope sellers, that’s what really terrifies people, not being beaten, knifed or raped, being offered a spliff from a septuagenarian milk man. And about that, fear of crime, prison overcrowding, doesn’t really jibe with this, a place free in prison, a long police operation to catch him, not to mention all the terrorists hiding under all our beds…hmm, still, keeps them in work.

It’s clearly a ‘funny’ case but the reality is his clients are now in greater pain and he will be in jail…unless by February these fucking -reefer madness hysteria- idiots have been sufficiently publicly shamed they will drop their mindless persecution of this man (and waste of thousands of pounds of our money, the police set up an undercover surveillance operation over several weeks, it’s like a pathetic low rent Burnley version of The Wire, except The Wire exposes the drug war, it doesn’t prosecute it). Holy shit even the Daily Fucking Mail finds it ridiculous, fucking hell Burnley!

Update 6/2/09: Given a suspended sentence so no jail, but the judge still displayed a spiteful, reefer madness level of dishonesty.

Fascist Festival Not Going So Well

Sadly…. all is not well with the BNP’s ‘Red, White & Blue Festival’ –

On Tuesday June 10, Amber Valley Borough Council met at the Town Hall, Market Place, Ripley to hear the premises licence application for the BNP’s Red, White and Blue Festival, scheduled to take place on land owned by party member and former Tory-councillor Alan Warner at Denby, Derbyshire from the 15th to the 17th August 2008.

Security at the meeting was tight. Protesters gathering outside were greeted by several van loads of Derbyshire’s finest, evidence gatherers and a FIT Team. Inside, the police, who had initially raised no objection to the licence, claimed to have received “significant intelligence” which had forced them to reconsider their position. Fearing conflict between the BNP and anti-fascists they wished to see the imposition of new conditions including the erection of a seven-foot high fence around the site and the installation of temporary security lighting. When invited to sum-up their position the BNP representatives withdrew their application and stormed out of the meeting, insisting they would go ahead without the licence.

Last years squeaked by without too much notice but this year the fine people of- Nottinghamshire Stop the BNP, Derbyshire Unite Against Fascism and Antifa already mobilising against the event and Unite Against Fascism nationally considering their response.– Have caused the prima donna BNP to flounce out of the licensing meeting claiming to have their festival anyway (probably followed with- and we never wanted your stupid license anyway, my mother was right about you!). So without a license for booze and music they vow to hold some kind of get together, the fun will never end start!

BNP member Alan Warner, who hosts the event on his land in Denby, said: “The festival will be going ahead. We won’t be selling alcohol but people will be able to bring their own and there will be recorded music and music from the fair ground. The police still have to police the event. I’m looking forward to it, hopefully it will be even better than last year. We’re hoping to have as many as 5000 people here.”

Peter Carney, Chief Executive at Amber Valley Borough Council said: “The organisers will now not be permitted to provide any licensable activities during the course of the festival, should it go ahead. They will not be able to sell alcohol on site and live or recorded music as a main activity will not be allowed at the event.

“The Council will be considering, with the police, what further steps we will take in respect of the concerns raised by them and by residents at the hearing if the organisers decide to go ahead with the event despite the withdrawal of the application.”

The police solicitor says subtly that the activism against the fascists has caused this license denial-

Craig Sutherland, solicitor for Derbyshire Police, told the meeting: “The fact is we are expecting trouble at this event. We didn’t object to this festival in 2007, and we didn’t object initially in 2008 however towards the end of May the intelligence picture changed. We have started to receive intelligence to say that groups opposed to the BNP may attack people attending this festival.”

So ok he gets in a smear on anti-fascists, but nevermind his mealy mouthed statement, it does show opposition altered the situation and has effectively constrained the BNP and its thrill a minute decade Hitler-fest in a muddy field.

The Sheriff of Nottingham ll

Some more details about the Nottingham anti-terorrist lunacy (ht2 Dave @ Complex System of Pipes)

A masters student at the University of Nottingham who was arrested under the Terrorism Act under suspicion of possessing extremist material was studying terrorism for his dissertation, Times Higher Education can reveal.

Academics and students have expressed concerns about the police’s handling of the case, which saw police searching campus property.

Rizwaan Sabir, a 22-year-old who was studying in the politics department, was arrested along with a 30-year-old member of staff. Both were released without charge on 20 May after having been held in custody for six days.

Mr Sabir’s lawyer, Tayab Ali of McCormacks solicitors in London, told Times Higher Education that as preparation for a PhD on radical Islamic groups, Mr Sabir had downloaded an edited version of the al-Qaeda handbook from a US government website. It is understood that Mr Sabir sent the 1,500-page document to the staff member – who was subsequently arrested – because he had access to a printer. Mr Ali said: “The two members of the university were treated as though they were part of an al-Qaeda cell. They were detained for 48 hours, and a warrant for further detention was granted on the basis that the police had mobile phones and evidence taken from computers to justify this.”

The case highlights concerns that new anti-terrorism legislation allowing detention for 28 days without charge would lead to people’s being held for extended periods on the “flimsiest of evidence”, Mr Ali said.

“Why did it take so long for the police to reach the conclusions they did?” Mr Ali asked. “These are not unqualified police, they are the top counterterrorism command for the region. They should know the difference between a book that is useful for terrorism and one that is not.”

Academics at Nottingham have expressed deep concerns about the arrest’s implications for academic freedom. Bettina Rentz, a lecturer in international security and Mr Sabir’s personal tutor, said: “This case is very worrying. The student downloaded publicly accessible information and provoked this very harsh reaction. Nobody tried to speak to him or to his tutors before police were sent in. The whole push from the Government is on policy relevance of research, and in this case the student’s research could not be more policy relevant.”

Alf Nilsen, research fellow in law and social sciences, said: “What we’re seeing here is a blatant attack on academic freedom – people have been arrested for being in possession of legitimate research materials. How can we exercise our academic freedom if we are at risk of being arrested for possession of subversive material? This sets a very alarming precedent. Academic freedom on campus should be guaranteed for all staff and students regardless of their ethnic or religious backgrounds.”

Dr Nilsen added: “I perceive the current incident at Nottingham to be occurring in tandem with several other attempts by UK authorities to increase surveillance of the academy and, in particular, non-Western students and staff, and moreover as an episode that is symptomatic of a more general curtailment of civil liberties in UK society, which seems to particularly affect and victimise non-Western citizens.”

Students at Nottingham are circulating a petition asking for the university to guarantee that the freedom of academics and students will be protected. It asks the university to acknowledge its “disproportionate response” to the possession of legitimate research materials.

A spokesman for Nottingham confirmed that the police had been called after material was found on the computer used by a junior clerical member of staff. “There was no reasonable rationale for this person to have that information,” he said. “The police were called in on the basis of reasonable anxiety and concern. In response to that, the police made a connection with a student who, we understand, was impeding the investigation and arrested that person.”

He added that the edited version of the al-Qaeda handbook was “not legitimate research material” in the university’s view.

A Nottinghamshire police spokesman said the police had applied for a warrant to extend the detention. “The judge was satisfied with the evidence presented and granted the extension,” he said.

Dear Nottinghamshire University authorities and the Police, you are War On Terror porn fixated, retarded, racist, witless authoritarian cretins. I mean you could take them to see The Crucible perhaps (although they’d be disappointed when it turned out not to be snooker) and they still wouldn’t get the fucking point, this is hysteria, as water boarding is to the ducking stool. Money quote-

It is worth noticing that in talking to one of my colleagues, a police officer remarked that the incident would never have occurred if the persons involved had been “blonde, Swedish PhD students” (the two men were of British-Pakistani and Algerian backgrounds respectively).

And as Indymedia post-

More dangerously, the whole operation seems to have serious and frightening racial overtones. An officer who investigated the case is reported to have said: “This would never have happened if he had been a white student.” The re-arrest of the second student on bogus immigration grounds displays a clear desire on the part of the police to smear the students in the hope of gaining sympathy from the tabloid press.

Furthermore, the university and police rhetoric during this time period was surprising to many students and academics. Amidst the great amount of rhetoric that the university put out during this period, supporting the police and assuming guilt of its own students, it also spoke of groups or individuals who “unsettle the harmony of the campus.” This seemed to be a direct reference to the peaceful political activism and vocal, peaceful protest that the university now seems to think it can clamp down on under the Terrorism Act.

Welcome to Brazil.

No Food Crisis, Just a Market Crisis

But of course pointing out the Holy Market is a failure is heresy so the corporate media call it a food crisis. As a vegetarian this appals me, as a human it is also appalling, people are going hungry and measures to prop up the system that is inherently flawed which could incidentally feed them, deliberately remove food-

Amid soaring food prices and global shortages of some commodities, Canadian farmers are being offered $50 million by the federal government to destroy 150,000 pigs – or 10 per cent of the herd – this summer.

The program, announced in February, came into effect yesterday and is aimed at rescuing the industry from economic collapse.

Canada’s hog farmers badly need help to cope with soaring feed prices and a higher dollar, said the Canadian Pork Council, which is administering the program.

“I’ve been farming for 30 years, and this is the worse crisis I’ve seen,” said council president Clare Schlegel, a hog producer near Tavistock, Ont.

The money will be used to cull 150,000 breeding sows, which in turn will diminish the annual stock by three million pigs.

The destroyed sows will not become part of the commercial food chain.

The farmers say they hope about 25 per cent of the meat will go to food banks instead. Sows are usually made into sausages. Canada’s processing industry won’t be able to handle more than that, Schlegel said. The rest would be turned into pet food.

The program comes amid soaring demand and rising prices for pork in countries such as China. But Schlegel said Canadian farmers couldn’t export enough pork to China to offset the decline at home.

Meanwhile, some Canadian stores are now stocking only imported pork because the lower United States dollar has made the price of domestic pork uncompetitive, he said. He declined to name the retailers.

War Crimes Not A Sackable Offence

Berkely law school does not think evidence of the committal of war crimes that have caused at least a hundred people to be tortured to death are not ‘extreme’ enough to warrant firing the tenured John Yoo. But then the formulation of the torture regime in the Whitehouse has apparently caused nary a ripple. Any of the opposition mention impeachment let alone charges? In fact one former member of the establishment who turned and fought it has been ruined. Soldiers who told the truth of the atrocities of the Iraq occupation were censored out of corporate media, meriting less coverage than millionaire drug addicts who go to parties a lot. Is that why Berkeley students tolerate John Yoo, ignorance, or is it support, either way doesn’t make for a good advertisement for their institution.

PS. From Landsker– Mario Savio when Berkely had some fight in it-

“There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can’t take part; you can’t even passively take part, and you’ve got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you’ve got to make it stop. And you’ve got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you’re free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!”

A Useful Tool

Man I though Martin Kettle was a prick, but John Rentoul is some competition, Lord Haw Haw would be proud. The author of a hagiography of Blair and setting up straw man arguments and disingenuous faux ignorance to continue to claim success in Iraq. See Medialens. That alert archived soon here.

Get Smart: Updated

A spy who infiltrated a direct action anti-aviation group has been exposed after making a series of elementary errors that aroused the suspicions of genuine activists.

Toby Kendall joined Plane Stupid, the group that occupied the roof of the Houses of Parliament last month, after graduating from Oxford last year. He told the activists that his name was “Ken Tobias” and said that he was deeply concerned by the impact of the aviation industry on climate change and that he wanted to help to organise protests.

But his habit of wearing a Palestinian scarf with his Armani jeans and designer shirt made some members question his identity. He was also the only member to turn up early to every meeting but had no friends in the activist community. He took part in protests, dressing as a penguin in one stunt, but always tried to remain in the background.

Plane Stupid began a mole hunt and, after feeding him false information that found its way within two days to the aviation industry, discovered his real name and employer.

Mr Kendall, 24, works for C2i International, a counter-intelligence company run by former special forces officers. It claims that its agents are “hand-picked from Special Operations at New Scotland Yard”. Its website puts “aerospace” at the top of a list of industries for which it works.

BAA deny any relationship with C2i other than saying they rejected a pitch from them, hmmm. Anyway, designer gear and did Oxford but appears not so bright we could perhaps assume public school, rich-but-dim for this espionage genius (and yes, I did reject the Plain Stupid headline).

PS. The google! Is this the same Toby Kendall mentioned in this Telegraph article on a courses for imperialist tourists ‘travellers’ run by two SAS types on how to be safe on gap year travel -bless- (you know what would make things safer? Stop ripping off poorer countries to enrich the wealthier ones). Incidentally one of the guys running that is now ‘part-time Private Secretary‘ to Princes Harry & William. Aren’t posh people and their militarism great? Why is the world such a dangerous place, such a mystery…

Update: From The Independent-

Pandora learns that Kendall, dressed as a Jolly Roger-waving pirate, also tried to infiltrate Hands Off Iraqi Oil, which targets Shell and BP. His boss at C2i, Justin King, will not return calls. King told the BBC in 2004 that many organisations face espionage: “These people are easy to find… I’m told the going rate to get a cleaner to steal something is £20.”

Justin King is also a former special forces reactionary. The Indy piece also mentions Kendall was doing Chinese at Oxford (hey he could get paid by the Chinese authoritarian capitalist government to rat on democratic activists, kerching!) that would seem to confirm it is the same guy from the Telegraph article, unless that is the Indies source for that statement too. Anyway, what a lovely bunch of establishment bounders C2i appear, an absolute shower!