I Am Being Haunted By Hair Product

Oh this got ranty…

Done the last bit of shopping nursing my poorly car along, dealt with the mysterious central heating problem at my sisters (while they are off in Disney-friggin’-land) my mum thinks she caused, made and cooked her dinner, hoovered (Dysoned?!?!) round her house (as she is not quite yet allowed to hoover by the hip replacement gods) in order for my brother to come and still moan about his cat allergies which he uses to hide his seething hatred of all animals and demand that although he spends 5 days a year at her house my cat should not be allowed to mooch over there for any of the other 360 even though she likes having her there. Then have another shower because…well I had my hair cut yesterday and although both me and my hair slicing artisan know I do not like stuff in my hair somehow some stuff is in my hair and the smell is driving me insane, so I keep washing it, showering yet still the highly volatile aromatics haunt me, mocking me with their incorporeal stench. Was it a mistake, was it residue from some other customer and now I have their horrible taste in product molesting my nose? Which is mildly revolting, if I want to have someone else’s scent on me first I want to know them, then I want to like them in a pretty special way. Instead I’m going around ponging of some dodgy quiffed pensioner or perhaps some rugby playing poser who wants to look just like his hero with their greasy overstyled barnet. But I think I’m close, the last shampoo and shower seems to have it on the run, soon I will reek only of my own spicy essence.

A rich Tory relative is deserted by her children at Xmas, they enjoy their affluence and go off somewhere very nice and she is left alone so among others she is visiting here, but she will never make the connection that part of the deal they have made is that to be wealthy they prioritise themselves and her lifelong activism for the right is also a signifier & cause of her families lack of care for each other. In the end the Daily-fucking-Mail and the Daily-arse twatting-Telegraph is not going to cook you dinner or give you a thoughtful and loving present, that this capitalist Hellhole of neoliberalism rewards those who are selfish over those who look after each other is a disaster for human community and means the best people generally remain relatively poor. But fuck the meek inheriting the Earth b’shizzle, it’s not going to be in any shape to be of any use to anyone if the self serving pricks of the planet keep running the show (or play pass the blame-game, do they really think we will buy ‘China wrecked COP 15′, is ‘Chump’ written on all our foreheads?). It’s time to be belligerent in the name of good nature, the fix is in to use the ‘crisis’ to further shape things into the image the motherfuckers of the world dream of, cuts, cuts, cuts and talk of shared sacrifices as the rich get richer. Torture and summary mass murder we are told is how terror is combatted, when clearly that is the essence of terror itself, we are constantly told the baddies are somewhere else, some other, but boys and girls, the enemies of you and me exist right here at home and all else is distraction from that fact. The corporation that kills to increase profits and sues quisling media to hide it, the elite who never cease in their class war to subdue the spark of justice and freedom in our souls and when you mention the c-phrase, you’re the extremist as they buy a seventh house but you need to be made jobless & homeless to keep us ‘competitive’. The move of behavioural concepts born in CIA torture experiments into mainstream psychology as armies of cognitive behavioral therapist are promulgated to make us happier with being cogs in their machine, because it is aberrant to be depressed if you are fucked over your entire life, you are meant to say- Thank you sir, please may I have another? The use of constant war to shut down our freedom, eulogise martial society and move even more capital from nurture to murder. Because…the real truth is there are people who simply hate nurturing other people, but they get all hot and excited when killing is on the cards and exploiting at the barrel of a gun or a threatening bailiff’s letter or an immigration raid or ‘God told me so’ or a High Court attack on unions or the constant demonising of single parents or concocting WMD lies are all expressions of the same void where their humanity should be. And our problem is, instead of ensuring these people are not a danger to others and themselves, we let them have power over us, that ought to change.

Now I have to go and practice expressions of gratitude and not disgust in case I receive a gift purchased from the Disney store.


24 Responses to “I Am Being Haunted By Hair Product”

  1. earwicga Says:

    Well, I hope your own spiciness is restored very soon!

    As for presents – I hope nobody has any for me, chosen with thought or love or not. I stopped buying adult presents for everyone years ago when I had my children, yet still some family still insist in giving me charity shop fodder. In fact I only buy for my own and my brother’s children. I would much prefer a gift of a favour such as babysitting for an evening or a promise to come round and find my glasses & camera before Christmas day etc. That would really damage the capitalist fuckers if we all did that for each other.

    But I always enjoy a meal that somebody else has cooked, such is my hatred of all of the domestic realm I would eat anything really (except meat of course cos what kind of nutter eats that?).

  2. RickB Says:

    I think like the Devil the smell has been helped into an exorcism by writing about it!
    Yes an exchange of favours is nice and indeed, less stuff but more giving, of course who would eat meat, that is just outrageously odd behaviour.
    Glasses and camera, I see a common thread, it is items relating to vision that disappear, hmm much symbolism…

    The carcass of a huge turkey always used to hang around for days afterwards in our house so I made sure to keep asking what is the dead bird doing in the kitchen, has there been a terrible accident? Or is it a crime scene?

  3. earwicga Says:

    Aye, if you also include my laptop which is being held hostage by Mastercare, the slowest company in the West, then there is definitely a vision related spate of losses in the earwicga household. I am now looking at you through a tiny screen of a laptop lent to me by a very kind person. But it would be much easier to see if I could find the poxy glasses! (and yes, I studied Golding at school).

    We always had roast beef for Christmas dinner and I enjoyed it immensely, along with most meat – especially Brains Faggots which I still yearn for. It wasn’t until my very early twenties that I was sadly unable to eat meat anymore.

  4. RickB Says:

    Next you’ll find on tv this-
    or worse this-
    Which is a fantastically entertainingly bad film.

    I found something even more strange than Brains F*gg*ts(!!) (and yes US readers they are real and aren’t a homophobic slur)
    Sausages in lard!

  5. RickB Says:

    Oh, we are just slabs of meat to you!

  6. otto Says:




  7. otto Says:

    “Daily-arse twatting-Telegraph”….nice

    One of the things I miss and don’t miss about the UK is Christmas.

    Don’t miss:
    the present buying fascism
    the TV-centric world
    the cold (snow is a highly overrated substance)

    the family. After 17 years outside (one Xmas of which was actually spent in the UK) i never really understand why i should miss them all more on the 25th Dec than i do on the other 364, but I do. It just is. It’s not that we do much, either. 25th at mother’s or father’s then 26th at the other place (divorced, remarried, both sets fine), 10am whisky, the turkey, the bursting stomach, the Queen, the christmas special movie (they still do dat?), the Morcambe&Wise re-run (never liked Only Fools & Horses as much), the real tree that is nearly needleless by that time…..you know the score and have your own variation problee. It’s the one day every year that I remember I’m an ex-pat.

    Funny old world, innit?

    Good rant, btw. You’d like it here…present fascism is non existent, the shops do no decorations til December 1st and don’t get busy til the weekend before. People greet each other with “hola feliz navidad” instead of just “hola”. But damn it gets hot…. i lied above, it needs to be cold on xmas day.

  8. RickB Says:

    Yes, that’s it, it is fascism, consume and obey! I do think it should be limited to only December so Peru sounds very sensible, I saw Xmas stuff this year in August. AUGUST!

    They do show big movies all day still though diluted by multi channel media but it is nice that this year Doctor Who seems to be the event all are looking forward to, not massively enthused myself (become melodramatic and overly about the heroic saga, Who used to be stranger than that but will give it a whirl) but it’s good original shows are prospering. I love real trees and remember many needle stung early morning feet, but maybe now cutting down trees just to…let them die in a centrally heated house is not so smart, all my mob’s are fake now, but I miss the scent. I do like that about the occasion, if it gives space to think about loved ones and meditate on our lives, that is very worth it, but it seems to be obliterated under this deluge of all the stuff you are meant to buy!!! I think we all need changes of pace and special times where we do other things to our norm, it’s just this tension with it being hijacked by Consumerism Extreme (TM).

    I do like snow, mountains have it but here by the sea it is a tad warmer so we don’t often get it, but I think you are right it does sound good down your way, Hola Feliz Navidad Señor Otto!

  9. RickB Says:

    “Disney ‘Goofy’ Men’s 1.7-ounce Eau de Toilette Spray”
    So, the great smell of a dogs toilet?

    • earwicga Says:

      Absolutely! The commercial smell of Disney has to be better than natural spice. They also do a mouse toilet spray as well if you’d prefer? Or you could just come over to my loft and have a roll around – not sure if it is mice or rats that my loft is infested with, but it is whichever loves the taste of chocolate selection boxes and can get through plastic, cardboard and foil wrappings.

  10. libhomo Says:

    Merry Fucking Christmas to you.

    Anyway, the stuff about car allergies cracked me up. People without allergies often act as if they secretly believe that those of us who do have them are really just making shit up.

  11. libhomo Says:

    Merry Fucking Christmas to you too. 🙂

    Anyway, the stuff about car allergies cracked me up. People without allergies often act as if they secretly believe that those of us who do have them are really just making shit up.

  12. RickB Says:

    Thank you, Happy Consumer Day! Well that is the odd thing, I am allergic to cats (and have hay fever) but as I like them and other animals I deal with it but my bro just hates furry things anyway so he luxuriates in his allergy- ‘they make me sneeze ergo they are Evil!’

  13. libhomo Says:

    A significant typo and a double posting…commenting from my cell phone can be risky. Sigh.

  14. earwicga Says:

    Even the humble DSi can connect with your blog 🙂

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