Met Commissioner Tries Stand Up

It’s really the most absurdist lacerating satire-

“Part of the headlines should be … astonishing operation pulled off by the Met who did a first-class job,” he said.

Please stop, oh my aching sides, is this a new method of delivering police brutality?

“The overwhelming majority of officers, whatever the stress or provocation, carried out their duties in a professional manner and I want to give them credit for what they achieved.”

The provocation of doing their job without thumping people? Oh you cheeky monkey.

Stephenson said the Met had never misled anyone in the aftermath of Tomlinson’s death.

Now this one I think needs an extra line maybe- except with a fake post mortem! Ta-da!

Picking out the territorial support group (TSG) – which is at the centre of two IPCC investigations into Ian Tomlinson’s death and an assault on a woman protester – Stephenson said it was a specialist unit the Met relied on.

…to kill people!

Stephenson said he had received acknowledgment from police forces internationally for what the Met achieved during the G20.

I think they cut this one short, I’m sure he goes on to say, forces in Zimbabwe, North Korea and Burma!

Well don’t give up the day job ‘Sir’ Paulie but there is hope, even a fascist buffoon can be mayor nowadays! Meanwhile the Manchester force are staging a farce showing terrorists are so cunning these days they escape punishment by not being terrorists, the blighters!


8 Responses to “Met Commissioner Tries Stand Up”

  1. otto Says:

    That was good.

  2. Jay Vos Says:

    Glad you’re on their case, the fuckers. Dare he say this shit straight – face-to-face – in front the Tomlinson family and all of the others during the protests for handling the events “in a professional manner”? Jeebus!

    • RickB Says:

      The arrogance is breathtaking, he really has no idea how appalling he sounds. Authoritarians being challenged bellowing like petulant tinpot dictators. If it quacks like a Duck etc.

  3. libhomo Says:

    The right is so good at providing us with unintentional humor.

  4. Jay Vos Says:

    Is there an equivalent of Stewart or Colbert in the UK, who could do a broadcast send up of this joker?
    (As if BBC television would allow such a thing!)

    • RickB Says:

      There is a rather slavish and not so funny copy on BBC Four called The Late Edition, not currently running I think. We do need something as good, but original and sourced from knowledge not as a reactionary gag vehicle in response to mainstream media coverage. But that is the tradition in the Beeb, it needs shaking up, Charlie Brooker is doing some good stuff and Iannucci.

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