No, the other one. Jumping ahead of a push the Godfather of the Met Crime Family has done one. There will be rending of garments and gnashing of teeth but the truth is it’s not about any dodgy deals, institutional racism and the high profile case about to erupt or his extra judicial executions. The power in London that had his back went when Livingstone lost. (Fuzz) ‘Sir’ Blair was a NL fave, if he still had support from the top table all his dirty dealings being exposed would be ignored as they were up until now. That there are scandals and this can be mentioned with his leaving enables the myth that we have accountable policing, no this is simply raw power politics, his support from on high waned so he’s gone. It would be nice to think his crapulosity caught up with him but we’d be kidding ourselves, it’s power, it’s gangs and tribes. Can’t wait to see the walking atrocity Boris & Jacqui likes for the job. The contenders-
- Sir Paul Stephenson odds on favourite-Tesco & Ulster (huh?).
- Lord Oswald Mussolini 7/2- Much fancied for his Taser Safe London drive whereby every citizen has a taser locked around their neck and police officers can dial up people’s numbers to activate the shock collar. He pleased conservative environmentalists by ensuring the devices would be recharged from renewable energy. For a surcharge on your ID card of £7,500 p.a. you can be exempted from the SafeCollar ™.
- Oberlieutenant Jerry Windsor 15/1 – Drew criticism for requesting his firearms officers kept the safety engaged on their submachine guns even when Muslims were sighted, preferring a cheaper baton charge technique. His soft on terror approach is in contrast to his staunch opposition to drug liberalisation recently voicing his belief Haliborange was a gateway drug. Favours a return of the death penalty for ‘tarts’ & ‘oiks’.
- Wing Commander Cressida Dick 50/3 – Admired for maintaining the code of silence around the De Menezes killing and nominated for a Orange prize for her creative report writing, described by one terrified subordinate as ‘Melanie Phillips with a badge’, before they disappeared. Has some good Oxbridge credentials but nevertheless is a woman and therefore just plain wrong and also cannot be trusted not to blab about that special Border Agency ‘salon’ where senior male officers relieve their tensions.
- Under Commissioner Tariq Token 25/1 – Currently under investigation for possession of melanin and some serious bribery allegations, it is claimed large payments were made into his personal bank account every month, when he pointed out this was his salary from the Met he was suspended for insubordination. Nevertheless is still expected to report for photo ops to show ‘diversity’ whenever the rank & file beat another black person to death.
- Grand Moff Derek Griffin 117/4 – Not in any way related to Nick Griffin except by birth mother. After many years running Special Branch’s mysterious ‘Taig Re-education camp’ in Ulster. He won many fans in the media as Chief Constable of Rutland with his zero tolerance policing and colourful braces. Wherever he has served crime has dropped dramatically, as has the population, his wife (popular TV chef Dereka Griffin-Boyne) runs a nationwide chain of crematoria.
- Sepuchral Master Constable James Blünt 14/0.15367 – Very much a new generation of progressive policemen with strong ties to prominent New Labour ministers. Headed the ACPO investigation of rendition flights concluding he found no proof aeroplanes exist or had ever been invented. Enjoys skiing, kayaking and ignorance, has worked closely with Israeli security professionals to evolve the national police strategy for dealing with human rights terrorism. Will be giving evidence in support of 142 day detention, tactical assassinations and house demolitions to the commons select committee on tyranny democracy.
- OmniVue Panopti-Dredd X2000 π/1 – This state of the art cctv camera lays claim to national experience in controlling populations and intimidating the public, not only does it listen and speak to crimino-terro-citizens it has a six barreled minigun (4,000 rounds of justice per minute) attached for force compliance. Could be the surprise choice with its pithy soundbites of ‘Assimilate’, ‘Long live the New Flesh’ & ‘Daisy, Daisy’. Its squadrons of drones already deployed in the skies over Britain demonstrate what a protective and wise overlord it will be. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s painless. It’s good. Come. Sleep.