Heinz Folds To Homophobes -UPDATED

A mayonnaise advert showing two men kissing has been withdrawn after it led to more than 200 complaints. Heinz confirmed last night that it had withdrawn the television commercial for its Deli Mayo following ‘consumer feedback’. Viewers said it was ‘offensive’, ‘inappropriate’ and ‘unsuitable to be seen by children’, while some parents were angry that they had been forced to explain same-sex relationships to their youngsters who asked them about the ad. (ht2 D-Notice)

Ok second link in as many days to The Mail (shudder) but it’s the- won’t someone think of the children? and ‘forced to explain same-sex relationships to their youngsters‘ (forced?) that I find…well hilarious. As well as in the context of the ad [youtube] they are not even gay, the ‘gag’ of the ad is the wife in this nuclear middle class family is played by a New York deli chef character (who sexistly the makers deemed male as they came up with the ‘gag’). Now clearly these people are idiots, retarded bigots raising children who I hope escape their parents diseased mindset. However I am a charitable soul and so in the spirit of cut out and keep guides I offer this helpful attempt to reach those parents and give them a simple way to explain to their children after they are traumatised by condiment adverts.

Of course I am speaking here to these self same simpletons who despite their low wit and intelligence have found another person (or the milkman) and managed to figure out basic fucking procedures (although not contraception) and produced offspring. So first thing to remember retards when I say cut out and keep this is not to be taken literally. Do not attack the computer screen with a knife and scissors attempting to carve out the glass and display surface below upon which the words appear. No, it is more a figure of speech, although if you print the guide (onto paper, ok, paper, got that?) you could then cut around the edges to produce a handy wallet sized mnemonic (sorry- thing to help you remember stuff, ok? Don’t panic I’ll keep the words simpler from now on). So don’t try and cut open your screen, although congratulations on being able to use the internet, maybe your kid showed you how, y’know the one you are terrified of explaining same sex relationships to. (Although let’s face it even if you are using the internet you probably think for example MSN Messenger is a mandatory element of the web, have no idea what instant messaging is or that other software exists, or browsers like Firefox or other pc’s (Apple, they make ipods don’t they?) oh yeah I’ve met you people!) Ahem, so here it is how to simply and quickly explain to your tiny little precious doe-eyed trusting child about the vast ranges of sexualities-

You can like men or women or both.

Ok now you’re confused, I can see it in your big moon idiot face. You are wondering if this is for a boy or a girl, well the beauty of this handy guide is- it applies to both equally, simple really. Now how hard is that really? Because niece number two once asked me having seen ..yes can you believe it, two women kissing on TV!!!! (won’t someone think of the children!) now you (you, you Daily Mail reading complaint letter writing numpty) may expect that after this earth shattering event (not to mention a divorce, oh the iniquitous immorality of it all!) that this poor child is now a confused drug addict, pervert and recidivist criminal (who nevertheless to your way of thinking deserves no sympathy and must be jailed and quite possibly hung, drawn, quartered… and birched) which would be news to all of us as she is head girl and a champion athlete. Which is to say, oh pasty gimps of idiocy, saying those eight words is not at all hard and it will not harm your child. In fact I have to be truthful here, this also operates as a rudimentary bigot spotting device, if you have a problem with saying those eight words that indicates you have bigotry coursing through your tiny brains. But…the good news is, if you can still fight that, let your child grow free of the prejudices that were put into you, say those words, not be afraid of adverts for Mayonnaise, then you are growing and becoming a far better person, which makes for a far better parent. Heinz though, they be naughty, bad Heinz.

Update: Thanks to Josh in comments details of complaints and a petition (now over 8,000 names, so that far outnumbers the 200 bigots so that ad better be back on Heinz!)

let them hear us! write an email to pressoffice@uk.hjheinz.com with copy to butlerc@amvbbdo.com, Ted.Smyth@us.hjheinz.com, Nigel.Dickie@uk.hjheinz.com and Consumer.Contact@uk.hjheinz.com

i’ve sent this:

subject: Censoring of Heinz Deli Mayo TV ad

dear mr. or mrs. i’m really disappointed, why did you remove the Heinz Deli Mayo TV ad made by BBDO only because a bunch of sick homophobes pressured you to do that? you are endorsing a homophobe agenda and i won’t buy any of your products again until you repair the damage you have done. you have lost one customer, and i’m pretty sure i won’t be the only one. have a nice day xxxxxx

and sign the petition too: http://www.petitiononline.com/heinz/petition.html

we are a lot more than 200 sick homophobes, and they have lost us as customers!

It’s Paedo-Nazi-Geddon!

Well the trial of Nazi terrorist Martyn Gilleard got a higher press profile today as the jury convicted him because it now includes that magic press friendly ingredient- paedophilia! So how’s that master race shaping up for y’all?

Neo-Nazi Martyn Gilleard has been found guilty of making bombs for a far-right terrorist campaign, after having previously admitted downloading thousands of images of child sexual abuse. Police initially searched Gilleard’s flat in Goole, East Yorkshire, in connection with child pornography offences. But once inside the 31-year-old’s home, they discovered not just evidence of a paedophile, but the equipment of a potential terrorist as well. Officers found machetes, swords, bullets, gunpowder and racist literature. Most sinister of all were four home-made nail bombs stashed under his bed.

He wrote of starting a “racial war” and murdering Muslims, but Martyn Gilleard boasted that he was no “barstool nationalist”. And a jury has decided he truly did want to put his white supremacist views into action. At the opening of his trial at Leeds Crown Court, Gilleard admitted 10 counts of child pornography offences. Officers had discovered more than 39,000 indecent images of children on his computer. Jurors considering the terror charges did not learn of this until they delivered their verdict.

At the time of his arrest he was a paid-up member of the National Front, the White Nationalist Party and the British People’s Party – all opposed to multiculturalism.

So in fact he was caught not because of his Nazism but because of his sexual predilections, clearly he avoided detection by not writing poetry, although his notes-

In a notebook recovered by police, Gilleard wrote that the “time has come to stop the talk and start to act”.

“Unless we the British right stop talking of racial war and take steps to make it happen, we will never get back that which has been stolen from us,” he added.

“I am so sick and tired of hearing nationalists talk of killing Muslims, of blowing up mosques, of fighting back, only to see these acts of resistance fail to appear.” In another note, he wrote that he wanted to see “reds” – left-wing activists – attacked with “lightning strikes” and “home-made grenades”.

His comments were a chilling echo of far-right nail bomber David Copeland, jailed for life for murder after attacks targeting London’s gay community and ethnic minorities in 1999.

He is a sad man, whose inadequacies led him into the arms of the weak minded Nazis (perpetually acting as a cult for angry white deeply dysfunctional and propagandised misfits), but he got pretty far along before he was accidentally detected, which again makes you wonder at how tolerated these views are in a generalised sense by a white male dominated British establishment. You can be sure the tabloids would be raving if he could have been fitted into the islamofascisterrorzombie!!!!! frame.

Posted in Racism. Tags: , . 2 Comments »

Bordering On The Ridiculous

The police are pushing for the creation of a 3,000-strong counter-terrorism border force made up of special branch and uniformed officers to improve surveillance at ports and airports.

The proposal, from the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo), is expected to be included in a police reform green paper to be trailed today by the home secretary, Jacqui Smith. It would allow greater collaboration and data sharing between police and the new 25,000-strong UK Border Agency, which has brought together immigration and Revenue and Customs officers since April.

Will they intercept aircraft with kidnapped people on board being flown to torture chambers abroad? Because y’know ACPO’s record on this…not so good.

“ACPO have admitted to me in a private letter that their investigation amounted to little more than a cursory review of reports on the issue – which they issued, 18 months after I requested it…”

Also will terrorists be allowed in as long as they are discreet?

Gay and lesbian asylum-seekers can be safely deported to Iran as long as they live their lives “discreetly”, the Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, has claimed.

I think she really has nothing left as an encore except to resurrect Section 28. So Labour peeps, just how betrayed do you have to be before you do something?