Friday! I’m Fucking Matt Damon

Join the March 19 Blogswarm Against the Iraq War

Normally I would avoid clip du jour-ism but this is simply funny. The basic context is- chat show host Jimmy Kimmel (he’s not quite a scab but he’s not exactly backing the writers to the hilt either) & Sarah Silverman (the sister of Laura Silverman of ‘Laura’ from Dr. Katz fame) have been in a relationship for some years and this was his 5th anniversary show, a running gag on his show is he ends it saying sorry to Matt Damon they’ve run out of time. This is what happens to a less valued guest when higher valued guests are allowed to go long if they are doing well, thus bumping the unfortunate b-list guest (which clearly Damon isn’t, ho-ho). So the relative merits of that running gag aside (explored to best effect by The Larry Sanders Show), this is a catchy Damon fucking tune and if you’ve seen the last Bourne film at least for a US action film it wasn’t purely on the side of the empire’s torture loving intelligence establishment (and it does continue the proud Hollywood action film tradition of really bad guys being played by Brits which I find culturally intriguing and rather funny)… and some shit blows up.

Update: Now comes the inevitable answer from Kimmel (a partial We Are The World spoof) “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck“.

From Cradle To Grave

Money ascendant over all-

 Bedroom furniture for young girls with the brand name Lolita has been withdrawn by Woolworths following complaints from parents.

In 2005, WH Smiths came under fire for selling youngsters stationery bearing the Playboy bunny – a symbol of the pornography empire.

Prior to that Bhs decided to withdraw its Little Miss Naughty range of padded bras and knickers for pre-teen girls.

Argos, however, defended its range of underwear for girls as young as nine including G-strings and padded bras as products in demand among children.

Yeah, sexualising children (well girls, hijacking playful fancy dress into aggressively sold & sexualised fashion items) in order to market more crap to them, fine. I guess when a corporation does it, it isn’t ‘grooming’. I suppose this also means Woolies doesn’t recruit many ‘readers‘ to their staff. And in your twilight years…fuck off and die, you’re not a useful consumer anymore!

Professor John Appleby, chief economist at the King’s Fund think-tank, says: “Social care is such a tricky area. In many ways, the funding and design of the system is a greater challenge than the NHS.

“We have an ageing population and what is more people’s periods of ill-health are getting longer. They need more and more help, but there are only finite resources.”

Finite? An economist said ‘finite’ so the infinite growth upon which all their beliefs are predicated doesn’t mean an infinite supply of resources for something so stupid and unfinancially exciting as caring for a human being. Yeah much better rich people get richer and we can just euthanise our old folks, we’d hate for a billionaire to have to give up one of their mansions, let’s not get into that ‘tricky area’.

Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Quantity

Idiots, idiots, idiots.

A genetically engineered organism that lives 10 times longer than normal has been created by scientists in California. It is the greatest extension of longevity yet achieved by researchers investigating the scientific nature of ageing.

If this work could ever be translated into humans, it would mean that we might one day see people living for 800 years. But is this ever going to be a realistic possibility?

Valter Longo is one of the small but influential group of specialists in this area who believes that an 800-year life isn’t just possible, it is inevitable. It was his work at the University of Southern California that led to the creation of a strain of yeast fungus that can live for 10 weeks or more, instead of dying at its usual maximum age of just one week.

Still imagine the sense of achievement on assassinating some 700 year old ruling class tyrant who tortured to death your great great great great great grandmother (because y’know of course they’ll hand out the treatment free to everyone and there’s no man made environmental crisis already happening or nuffink). Idiots, idiots, idiots.