Friday! Fergie: Glamorous

What? Ok the whole song/video is a risible hymn to consumerism and the American Dream Nightmare (and one line claiming money isn’t important while everything else yells it is does not convince) it sort of follows on from the last post. As a cultural artifact it tells you something about a decadent empire whose luxuries are reliant on the subjugation & slaughter of millions yet still pumps out fantastical fantasies of corporate wealth. Fantasises that are eulogised in pop, the performers are encouraged to see this wealth as a paradise (at least they do something to earn it rather than inherit or steal it) but the drug ravaged zombies you see in celebrity mags tell another story. Like the small mention of money not being important there is some allusion to knowing this is all ephemeral nonsense but you have to dig through layers of pornographically fetishised opulence for that meaning. Although the visual storyline of the video is less capitalist-tastic when rotated on music channels what you mostly see is executive jets and shiny things, so if this is a sneaky refutation of decadent consumer values its context is robbing it of that. It’s sort of like the pop video incarnation of Bratz dolls and yes, I have had to watch the Bratz movie, sigh.

But…if you spend any time with children (and particularly tweeny nieces) this kind of stuff- the Disney Channelfication of existence- seeps into your mind and out of all the crap I have to admit I enjoy this slice of idiotic pop. Its redeeming features are a lush production, hilarious rap interludes and a catchiness I like rather than find annoying. So to summarise- shame on me it’s rubbish, but I don’t care let’s dance and be silly. Who said this blog wasn’t G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S!

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Instant Asshole: Just Add Money


People huh? I mean if you match common sense to wealth it looks like many people are shit over the limit with a twenty in their hand-

His younger brother, Jefri, whom the Sultan introduced to polo, has for decades been one the world’s most notorious playboys…He once owned a 50-metre yacht called Tits, replete with tenders named Nipple 1 and Nipple 2.

…the 61-year-old Sultan spent £7.3m and £6.59m on two house supervisors, and £5.86m on each one of his five public relations officials, named Janet, Prall, Shelly, Vicky, and Yoya. He also spent £1.26m on a badminton coach and £1.25m on masseuses and acupuncturists, as well as £48,859 on the guards for his exotic bird cages.

But won’t someone think of the supermodels? London fashion week has to ensure their good health yet violent eating disorder enabling emetics are even now being considered for the marketplace-

Tony Blair has signed a deal to write his memoirs of life in Downing Street,…Mr Blair has strong ties with Random House: its UK wing is headed by Gail Rebuck, who is married to Mr Blair’s close ally and former pollster Lord Gould. Both the publisher and Mr Blair’s spokesman refused to disclose his fee. But publishing experts suggested the deal was worth as much as £5m. The single volume memoir will be published under the Hutchinson imprint in the UK.

Oddly though he was the only Prime Minister (Gordon Brown and two former PM’s – Baroness Thatcher & Sir John Major- Sir? Baroness? Give me fucking strength, can’t wait for Grand Poobah Wizard Duke Oberlieutenant Blair) missing from the unveiling of a Lloyd George statue-

Harold Pinter, along with the campaigning journalist John Pilger and former UN humanitarian co-ordinator for Iraq Denis Halliday, had crticised the decision to honour Lloyd George – the Welshman who served as Prime Minister from 1916 to 1922 – because he had ordered British troops to bomb Afghanistan, Egypt, Iran and Iraq during the First World War.

Lloyd George’s record of selling honours to boost party funds, which led to the introduction of the 1925 Honours (Prevention of Abuses) Act, may also have made some people at the unveiling in Parliament Square feel uncomfortable. That legislation led to the abortive “cash for honours” investigation of Tony Blair and his aides.

Oh, still it’s not like they took bribes from arms dealers…oh-

A Labour peer has admitted taking money to introduce an arms company lobbyist to the government minister in charge of weapons purchases.

But it’s not like the representatives of the people are a wealthy elite whose privileged financial position insulates them from the real life concerns of us people (yeah, no points for guessing what’s coming next, not an entirely subtle comedic conceit is it?)-

The total payments of £87,622,957 in 2006-07 were in addition to the £60,675 annual salary received by MPs, bringing the average cost to the taxpayer of a member of the House of Commons to almost £200,000. Ed Balls, the Schools Secretary, who was paid £157,076. He and his wife, Yvette Cooper, the Housing minister, claimed between them more than £307,000, including a combined £32,000 for the London home they share. They have been accused of breaking the spirit of the rules by using allowances to buy property in the capital.

And of course that’s just what we pay them, not their total income including directorships, consulting etc. y’know- bribes. Thing is, even crooks aren’t bothering anymore, it’s more profitable to use the capitalist system as it now operates than buck it with old school mafia shit-

The Mafia, memorably described as “bigger than U.S. Steel” by mob financier Meyer Lansky, is more of an illicit mom-and-pop operation in the new millennium…Things are so bad that mob scion John A. “Junior” Gotti chose to quit the mob while serving five years in prison rather than return to his spot atop the Gambino family.

Still it’s not like a vicious system of capital based filters is stopping people from attaining their potential-

If you are wondering which university is the cheapest in the United Kingdom, you now have your answer. It is Bradford University in Yorkshire, where students pay an average of only £40.51 a week for rent, according to a cost-of-living index survey published exclusively in The Independent today. The most expensive is the Royal Academy of Music in London, on Marylebone Road, a stone’s throw from Madame Tussaud’s, where accommodation costs a staggering £147.07 weekly.

Well over three times the weekly rent, should keep those northern types out of the lovely rich peoples places in the south, after all if you educate clever people they’ll stop worshiping, aspiring and realise rich people aren’t like us, they are way, way bigger assholes and then pull down the whole sorry corrupt mess. Or…they’ll just watch Pop/X/Big/Dancing/Factor/Idol and find paying to vote on who gets to be exploited by corporations the most satisfies their atrophying desire for self determination. One of the two…