As The Great Fabulous One, leader and Black Pope of the Church of the Anus of Christ I would like to extend the hand of friendship to the Exeter University Evangelical Christian Union. They are valiantly choosing to get lots of publicity and go to court rather than choose arbitration to protect their right to discriminate and as such I feel they belong in my good church. While I will not require an oath of fidelity to the Christ I do ask that you engage in the formal consecration of new
suckers members ceremony, a baptism with KY jelly. The ceremony shall begin by the supplicants holding forth their ATM cards and as they intone to me their PIN numbers I shall implore the Lord to accept and shelter them from outrageous political correctness. Yea verily, they shall receive the Holy Scripture upon which the sacred sacraments are detailed-
£150 to be a homophobe
£150 to subjugate women
£150 to reject science while still quite happy to go to doctors, use technology and watch ‘Jurassic Park III” -the one with Tea Leoni.
*all fees subject to change and charged on a monthly basis.