Welcoming The Lost Sheep

As The Great Fabulous One, leader and Black Pope of the Church of the Anus of Christ I would like to extend the hand of friendship to the Exeter University Evangelical Christian Union. They are valiantly choosing to get lots of publicity and go to court rather than choose arbitration to protect their right to discriminate and as such I feel they belong in my good church. While I will not require an oath of fidelity to the Christ I do ask that you engage in the formal consecration of new suckers members ceremony, a baptism with KY jelly. The ceremony shall begin by the supplicants holding forth their ATM cards and as they intone to me their PIN numbers I shall implore the Lord to accept and shelter them from outrageous political correctness. Yea verily, they shall receive the Holy Scripture upon which the sacred sacraments are detailed-

£150 to be a homophobe

£150 to subjugate women

£150 to reject science while still quite happy to go to doctors, use technology and watch ‘Jurassic Park III” -the one with Tea Leoni.

*all fees subject to change and charged on a monthly basis.


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Friday Night Treats – Kids in the Hall: Bad Dr.

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It’s not a Death Squad, It’s a Death Team

So much evil in one building! John Negroponte takes a demotion to be Condi’s assistant in the US State Dept. So as to spend more time concentrating on Iraq, oh shit, oh shitity shit. So death squad John (‘Ambassador you are really spoiling us with your unconvincing denials’- everyone in Honduras who wasn’t a nazi) is going to ramp up the salvador option he first implemented when ambassador to Iraq two years ago.

If only he’d stayed as chief of secret police, where he did bugger all work.

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Altered Greats


I despise the lie that is ‘reality tv’ particularly *big brother*, it is sadistic voyeurism that degrades the humanity of the audience, the ‘cast’ and the makers. However I am a great admirer of Ken Russell, there’s no mistaking one of his films and after all who else apart from The Sound of Music is going to rent all those nun costumes? But I do not watch shite, so I will miss him, I hope he gets whatever he needs from it and I hope he’s getting a big fat fee. Better yet C4 should show some of his work; Tommy, The Billion Dollar Brain, Women in Love, Altered States and The Devils. He may be erratic but 80% of cinema today is completely predictable, committee made, market tested, shiny, empty, happy, gloss that is largely naked nun free. Okay I flogged the nun thing to death, but that was intentional, if you watch his work you will see he cannot be so easily pigeon-holed and for the days of footage this show will go on for across many channels a viewer would get far more from just a couple of hours of ‘The Devils’. But that is TV now, like expanding foam it fills up tired minds, neuters them in preparation for sleep and then another day of pointless conformity packaged as ‘lifestyle’.

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